My take on two fashion trends I just don’t understand – the summer beanie and non-prescription nerdy glasses with no lenses.
Of course, I have to pay homage to the original.
This “Dear Cabby” post isn’t the result of a direct question I’ve been asked by an advice-seeking friend. Rather, my Law of Averages as it pertains to dating is a result of multiple conversations with friends expressing it is increasingly difficult to find a quality human being to date. It’s hard to find people who are (preferably) good-looking, have goals and direction in life, have real hobbies and interests, down to earth, easy to talk to, fun to be around, etc. In essence, we’re all looking for someone who is (at least) “above average.”
By definition, however, “average” is what you will find most of in this world. By definition, the number of people who can be considered “above average” MUST be outnumbered (please refer to the diagram below for a visual representation of the Bell Curve). Thus, they will be more difficult to find. Furthermore, truly exceptional individuals are indeed rare.
The reason why it SEEMS like it’s hard to find a quality individual is because it IS hard to find a quality individual, as evidenced by probability theory and statistics. So what’s the solution? Should you go out and try to sample as much of the population as possible, thinking the more you date eventually you’ll come across a winner? I’d argue not. For one, you’d probably end up being a ho, or at least come off as one (and the term “ho” refers to both men and women alike). Secondly, I’d argue the more you date you’d just come across more and more average individuals.
My suggestion is to be patient, concentrate on doing you, and take the time to figure out what’s most important to you. First off, you can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want. Second, you can’t get what you want if you have nothing to bring to the table either. And finally, when you really know what you want and realize how rare it really is, you’ll do everything in your power to make it yours, you’ll appreciate it more when you have it, and consequently, you will do everything in your power to keep it yours.
Bonus: Fellas, if you like it then you should put a ring on it (eventually…but no rush).
Everything in life can be related to basketball. Even food.
Some food combinations go exceptionally well together. Like a great duo on the basketball court, you can hardly mention one without mentioning the other. In the basketball world, no pair exemplifies this more than Stockton and Malone. In America, I’d argue that you’d be hard-pressed to find a food duo more classic than burger and fries.
But the true greats make everyone around them better. They are able to motivate their less talented teammates to a new level of excellence. Most notably, Michael Jordan is credited with doing this as he led the Bulls to 6 rings. Similarly, there are certain players in the culinary game that make everything taste better. It doesn’t matter what you team it up with, the top food teammates will most assuredly compliment other foods and almost always enhance the overall flavor. Thus, let us take a look at what I consider to be the top three food teammates
#3 – Rice
I’m sure many would argue my selection of rice at the #3 spot over many other foods. This is just my Filipino-ness showing through. I honestly believe Filipinos love rice more than any other Asian ethnicity. We’ll eat rice with eggs, steak, SPAM, fried chicken…Man, I know Filipinos that put rice in their spaghetti. Rice goes with almost everything.
#2 – Chocolate
Chocolate-covered anything. That’s pretty much all I have to say. I mean, who doesn’t like getting chocolate wasted? You can dip almost anything in chocolate and it’s almost guranteed to taste better. Well, while I’m thinking about it, almost any kind of meat dipped in chocoloate sounds pretty gross, but other than that I’d probably eff with it.
#1 – Bacon
Hands-down the best foodmate ever HAS to be bacon. What can bacon not make better? Got a fantastic, perfectly grilled steak? Throw some bacon on that mugg and see if it don’t taste better. Bacon-wrapped shrimp? Yes please. Bacon ice cream? I haven’t had it, but you know and I know we’d all try it because we’re all aware of the deliciousness that is bacon.
(Note: I debated as to whether condiments should be considered. Ultimately I decided against it, mainly because you cannot eat condiments alone as an entree/side item/snack and thus they should not be considered a “food” within the context of this discussion, although I’m sure some would argue that point. If condiments were to be considered, ranch would have to be #1)
Bonus: Hakeem Olajuwon, aka the greatest center to ever play the game of basketball, also made his teammates better. But sometimes, he had to get his.
At age 25, I’m in a point in my life where I have several different friends at different points in their love life – friends who are still single and just having fun, friends who have been in long term relationships but aren’t ready to be married yet, friends who are engaged, friends who are married, friends who have just gotten out of a serious relationship, etc. I think it’s pretty interesting to see where different people are in their lives when it comes to relationships, because I think when it’s all said and done most of us are looking for the same thing: someone to love and who will love us back. And until we find that person, we’re all CONFUSED AS HELL by this thing called dating. Nevertheless, I try my best to help my friends out with solid advice, as they do the same for me.
Which brings me to the first edition of Dear Cabby. A female friend wrote, “Dear Cabby, I’ve been single since three years and have only found/been on dates with low lifes whom my friends say are whack. What am I doing wrong? I’m not drop-dead gorgeous but I don’t think I’m appalling. Love, Anonymous”
It seems like your friends think highly of you and think you deserve better than what you’re settling for. You should have as much confidence in yourself as they have in you. This confidence will develop the PATIENCE to not just settle for what comes along, and wait for a mate that’s deserving of you. Sure, it gets lonely being single for an extended period of time, but confidence in oneself will help you realize that you don’t need a companion to make you feel whole because you’ll realize you already got it going for you, and you just need to do you.
And you’re right – most people don’t want to admit it for fear of looking shallow, but looks do indeed play a part in who we attract. The extent to which this is a factor varies from person to person and situation to situation, but to say it isn’t a factor would be naive. I think it’s important to at least put some thought in evaluating if are you the type that the person you’re interested in would be attracted to. For example, a friend of mine has always been a bigger guy, so he’s always dated thicker women. That’s not to say there aren’t successful relationships where “inequalities in attractiveness” exist, but you get my point. And to tie back to my first point, finding that self-confidence and truly loving one’s self will help you realize you don’t need to be “drop-dead gorgeous” to find someone…you just have to be you.